A Peek At My Bookshelf…

I felt him standing there before I saw him. I looked up to find Ken paused in the doorway observing me with an arched eyebrow. “You have that look,” he commented in a reproving tone.

“What look?”

He rolled his eyes at my deliberate obtuseness. “That look. You need to get out of here.”

“Whatever do you mean? I’m fine.”

“Uh, huh. Take a look in the mirror. I’m doing fine. You? Not so much.”

“Thanks. Thanks a lot.”

“I didn’t mean it that way, you twit.”

I touched my thumb to my nose while wiggling my fingers and crossing my eyes in his general direction. He wasn’t impressed. Or amused.

“You. Out. Now. Go breathe some fresh air. Or at least go haunt one of your old bookstores for the afternoon.”

I protested because we had both been up much of the night with Jacqui due to her recent CVS episode, “You need some time to yourself too…”

“I told you I’m fine. You, on the other hand, are not. You’ve been hovering over Jacqui for weeks now and you can either walk yourself to the door for a change of scenery, or I’ll boot you there.”

There was no arguing. I had neither the energy or motivation to go out — which was precisely why I was being escorted to the door. “Okay, okay… I’m going.”

And so I went. I thought about serving my time by sitting out in the driveway in the driver’s seat of our car, but that thought only lasted about a minute as I balked with the notion of being told what to do. Then common sense took over. No point in being belligerent to my own detriment. I had car keys and an afternoon all to myself. The driveway would not be the most brilliant use of my time.

I pulled out of the driveway with the thought of heading to the local Barnes & Noble book store, but then my car did a funny thing… It turned a different direction. I stopped at the grocery store, picked up a loaf of out-dated bread and headed towards the park. I fed the ducks and geese and then leaned back into a park bench and watched the clouds. I went for a walk. I strolled bare-headed down a riverside path as hail pelted cherry blossoms from the trees in a fluttering blizzard of pink. I walked until my fingers grew numb and I laughed when a hummingbird dive-bombed my path as I returned to my car. Good to know I hadn’t forgotten how.

My car meandered past sleepy shops and I stopped when I saw the sign of an old bookstore. I stepped inside and could feel my eyes lighting up from within. A cluttered shop, jammed near floor to ceiling with books. Doesn’t get much better than that. I parked myself in a dusty corner with an armful of aging yet timeless treasures: A collection of Dickenson’s poems in an unassuming dark green cover with faded, yet ornate end papers, a tattered calf-skin volume of Longfellow’s poetry with the words, “To my darling Jenny ~ 1897″ written lovingly on the fly leaf, a small red leather pocket volume with worn gilded edges and no title that fell open to a someone’s long-ago favorite words penned by Keats, and an obscure little collection of Oscar Wilde’s fairy tales with the cover loved threadbare. I spent the rest of my rare afternoon with my finds, most of them too costly to enjoy beyond the afternoon. But what a lovely afternoon it was!

I returned home after trading my pocket change for the tiny copy of Wilde’s tales, grateful and rested. Grateful for hummingbirds, clouds, and cherry blossom blizzards. Grateful for timeworn books and introspective afternoons. Grateful to be sharing my life with Ken, my very best and truest friend. Like Wilde’s “The Happy Prince”, his heart is generous — his first thoughts for the welfare of his wife, for his children. The guardian of my sanity who sends me off for a a solitary afternoon of soul-mending with a smile and a wink at his expense. Because he knows I will do the same for him.

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While Christmas shopping at the mall, Jacqui saw Santa sitting in his big velvet chair, chatting with children about Christmas wishes. We don’t make a big deal of Santa at our house, so I was a little surprised when Jacqui stopped in her tracks and exclaimed, “Mommmmmmmm! I muss go see Santa! I needta tell him somefing very ‘portant!”

“Are you sure?” I asked, eying the length of the line.

She placed a hand on a hip and crinkled her eyebrows, “Course I’m sure! I woon’ta said anyfing if I wasn’t!”

Well OK then. Off to the end of the line we went. As we waited, Jacqui wiggled about in anticipation like a Christmas puppy. “Is he da reely reel Santa?”

“What do you think?” I had answered variations of this question many times, but for some reason, Jacqui just loves to ask questions that she already knows the answer to. I’ve tried to interest her in other hobbies, but no. This one suits her just fine, thank you.

“I fink he’s jess preten an’ da reely reel Santa was Santy Nickles and was very nice to little boys an’ girls a reely long time ago. He’s probly in hebben now.”

“Why do you want to talk to a pretend Santa then?”

“Moooooommmm!! Dats more fun ’bout it! It’s jess fun to play preten, Mom. You telled me dat it’s good to maj-inate fings, ‘member?”

“Yes, so I did.”

Ken and I really struggled with what to do with the whole Santa thing. We basically decided to not make an issue of it and keep the focus of Christmas on Jesus where we believe it should be. Jacqui, however, is not easily put off by such things. She likes to ask question after question in ever increasing detail and somehow we just couldn’t bring ourselves to answer her inquisitiveness with “Why of course he’s real!” Instead, we told her the real story of St. Nicholas and explained why people like to remember the kind things that he did. It seemed to satisfy her curiosity and she deftly categorized the whole ‘Santa bringing presents’ issue as a fun and elaborate game of make-believe. I have no idea if we did the right thing here, because honestly, we are just making up most of this parenting stuff as we go along!

The line crept along and Jacqui became exponentially more excited until at last it was her turn and she bounded up into the unsuspecting mall Santa’s lap.

“What do you want for Christmas, little girl”

“Wot’s my name?”

“Ho, Ho, Ho! Why don’t you tell it to me?”

“If you’re da reely reel Santa you should know my name.”

Poor Santa didn’t look so good.

Jacqui arched an eyebrow and looked suspiciously at his whiskers. Fortunately for him we had already discussed that the pretend Santa’s beard was very real and she should not bother him about it, nor should she under any circumstances tug on it to see if it would come off. I prayed like crazy for the moment to pass without a major incident. Jacqui tilted her head back the other direction as she evaluated him. Finally she said, “My name’s Jacqui. You know how to spell it?”

Santa sat there looking like a stun-gun victim.

“J-A-C-Q-U-I. Dat’s howya spell Jacqui. Dat’s me.”

Santa coughed. “Well Jacqui, what would you like for Christmas?”

“Jacqui clapped her hands and giggled. She then began chattering at 120 miles an hour… “For Christmas I would like allotta fings! A Dizz-inny Princess Talkin’ Vannerty (vanity), A pink Fur-Berry, Da Fur-Real Pony, Dizz-inny Princess Dress-Up stuff, and A Real Lovin’ Baby… Are you writin’ dis down?? You’re jess a preten Santa so you shood mebbe write fings down so you don’t fergit dem. You do hab very nice white gloves though, I like ‘em a lot! Mommy an’ Daddy need toys for Christmas too an’ I will help dem play wif ‘em, OK? And don’t bring me a purple yo-yo. Dat’s Daddy’s job, not you. Now I needta tell you what Kyle wants for Christmas ’cause he’s too little to tell ‘ya…”

The poor pretend Santa sat there valiantly fighting off the impending migraine while contemplating the meagerness of his paycheck. Finally, Jacqui released her velvet and ermine-clad captive and bounced down from his much-relieved lap while calling over her shoulder, “Don’t fergit… No purple yo-yo’s! Dat’s Daddy’s job.”

The pretend Santa smiled and waved and motioned to one of his elves. Probably to schedule a pretend Santa break from all things pertaining to the North Pole.

I looked down at Jacqui and she was grinning ear to ear and skipping along with one hand in mine.

“Did you tell him the very important thing that you needed to?”

“Oh, yes! I telled him! Dat was fun Mommy! He’s not so very good at pretenning as me.”

Huh. I was completely stumped as to what had just happened and why. “So what did you tell him that was so important?”

She looked up at me with sparkles in her eyes and laughed, “Oh, I jess needed to tell him not to bring me a purple yo-yo for Christmas in case he was still pretennen’ to be Santa on Christmas cause it would hurt Daddy’s feelin’s if da preten Santa brought me Daddy’s present. Daddy said he would get me a yo-yo for Christmas an’ teeched me to do da yo-yo tricks!”

“So then why did you tell him all the other stuff if you knew he was just a pretend Santa?”

“Moooommm!! I all-reddy telled you! It’s jess fun to play preten an’ I’m a very good maj-inator. Dat’s more fun about it if you maj-inate fings.” And she grinned and gave another skip as she dove towards Ken through the crowd. “Dad! Don’t worry! I telled dat Santa not to bring me a purple yo-yo!”

Ten minutes later when we walked by Santa’s chair once more, he was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps he went to go write things down… like maybe a list of phone numbers from the Help Wanted ads…

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Since I seem to have a cracker theme going on here (the absence of good tasting gluten-free crackers is a pet peeve of mine) I thought instead of a recipe, I would share with you one of my recent favorite finds. These Ritz-style crackers by Glutino are by far the best commercially prepared gluten-free cracker I have come across. They do state on the box that they make contain trace amounts of milk, casein, or soy, so if you are highly sensitive to any of these ingredients, they may not work for you. My daughter, Jacqui, is on an essentially GFCF diet, but her food sensitivities are of a more volume related nature and she is able to tolerate foods containing trace amounts of milk or casein.

These crackers are really quite good! Not quite as buttery as a Ritz cracker, but a pleasant flavor. Most importantly, they have that wonderful oh-so-elusive flaky texture. None of that rice cracker snap going on here! Jacqui would literally sit and eat an entire box if I let her, but they are a little too spendy for that. I was able to find them at a local specialty grocer’s for $3.79 a box. Most of the on-line sources are running at about a dollar higher.

That said, if you are craving something like this to have around as a luxury item, then they are everything they claim to be. They would be excellent with soups! My daughter loves them with Tofutti’s Better Than Cream Cheese. *Kid Friendly Tip* I tint the cream cheese orange with red and yellow gel food coloring, spoon it into a pastry bag with a wide fluted pastry tip and pipe it onto the crackers. Voila’ ! CF ‘Easy Cheese’ : )

If you are having trouble finding this product locally, they can be purchased on-line at glutenfree.com - $4.94 plus shipping for a 5.3 oz box.

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One of the things I have had the hardest time with as a Mom with a child on a GFCF diet has been finding decent crackers. In the world of toddlers, Goldfish crackers top the list. Everywhere you go, they are offered at snack-time and their tempting bright color and fun shape always left my daughter in tears, wishing that she could have some too. I found several gluten-free recipes, but ultimately gave up on finding a good tasting version that was both gluten-free and casein-free, deciding to just come up with a GFCF version of my own. After much trial and error, I present to you my final version which Jacqui has pronounced “Super Yummy!” While they are not quite as cheesy in flavor as the originals, this recipe yields a pleasantly crunchy cracker with a great buttery taste and lightly cheesy flavor. Enjoy.

I have been getting quite a few query hits on my blog relating to gluten-free recipes and a number of emails with questions about gluten-free living at our house, so I thought I would start a little segment of my blog called ‘Gluten-Free Gems’. Basically, it will consist of little tips or tricks I have been slowly picking up on toddler-friendly gluten free living . (I should note here that my daughter is also on a casein-free diet for her CVS , so anything I post will be both gluten and casein free).

So… whenever the whim strikes me, I will post either a recipe, a product find, or some little tip I have found useful. We’ll see how popular the topic is, and go from there. Just so you know, I don’t keep gluten-free recipes unless they pass taste tests by our non-gluten restricted family members, so everything you find here should taste great by any standard. If you have problems with any recipe, email me and I will do my best to help you trouble shoot. By popular request, my first post in this topic will be my recipe for gluten-free/casein-free graham crackers. If you would like to read the post that started it all, click here - enjoy!

(Note: Even though Jacqui didn’t eat the gluten-free graham crackers on our camping trip, she really does like them, usually eats them really well - and they are extremely good! She was just overwhelmed by the temptation of an un-attended box of the chocolate flavored Honey-Maids (must have gotten that choco-holic gene from me). My husband even likes this homemade version better than the boxed store brands. I actually have to hide them so he doesn’t eat the poor kid’s graham crackers!)